Feed on

The Key to the Ignition

At some point in Life, we realize that we can never influence what others think no matter how much we try unless and until they buy into our idea – that is, what we were sharing at that moment in time. When they buy into our idea however, it is clearly their own doing and has entirely nothing to do with us.

But soon, we realize that whatever we say or do somehow do carry some weight to the direction or decision another makes in his or her life path. But that direction headed or decision made still, has nothing to do with us, but their own independence and willingness.

I had a chat with my teacher 8 days ago about the fasting process which I dropped. Not that he influenced me or anything like that, but he was merely sharing from his own perspective about the whole process. By evening, without much procrastination, I decided that I would restart the fasting process again for 7 days; which I had successfully completed today. When I was asked why I started fasting again, I couldn’t deny that my teacher had a role to play in it, but in all honesty, I did it for myself and no one else – not ignorantly being influenced by anyone or anything.

When we are conversing with someone, we share our experiences, ideas or views somehow intuitively knowing that if that someone was to have an alternative perspective of looking at things, that perspective itself could very well liberate or bring joy and peace to his beingness. Having said that, it is also important to understand that the acceptance of this someone of the idea which we share is beyond our control and is never our doing or responsibility. So it is like… each of our sharing is like a special key, designed specifically for an independent moment on its own. During the sharing, the key is already presented to the driver, or sometimes even put into the ignition. But in order to start the engine running, it is still dependent on the driver to twist the key.  

Accompanying these kind of selfless sharing I would call it, do require a certain level of wisdom and skill. With wisdom, we understand that we simply convey the message, not in any way convince; with skill, the sharing is cushioned with love, support and compassion instead of an I-know-better-than-you kind of approach.

It is interesting to note that I myself came to this point from a cycle. I used to share because I simply loved to talk (can’t deny that I still love that though)! And then I realized that I got offended when what I shared was not accepted; because I ‘wanted’ that someone to ‘accept’ my ideas and live a better life! And then I went to shutting up (even when I still loved to talk) because I strongly believed that I could never influence the way people think anyway, so what is there to talk or share? And finally, I arrive to understand how it is important to share wise-fully, skillfully and lovingly – not only for the love of talking (I mean, in my case) but also for the wellbeing of others. To add on to how it serves me, it always boils down to my own intention of talking or sharing – out of fear, or simply Love.

My teacher was telling me this afternoon that like it or not, we are all interdependent. We are independent, yet interdependent. We do certain things because someone else asks or invites us to do so, but it is never for them that we are doing it for. A little ironic and paradoxical, yet so true.

4 Responses to “The Key to the Ignition”

  1. htl says:

    The arena stepped,
    the dance begins.
    in tandem to the music
    in sync to the partner’s movement
    in flow with the crowd.

    A step at a time

    She moves,
    fluidly, skillfully,
    enticing, her Beloved,
    To a certain direction.

    And yet, as yet,
    her movement
    not at all hers,
    – influenced by her Beloved
    by the beat of the song,
    and people around her

    The dynamic of dance –
    and yet inter-dependent
    A complexity of web
    seamlessly to the flow of Dance.

    She thought she took the step
    As Life took the step before her.

  2. Sot-Sot One says:

    I too love to talk/share and I realized that most of the time I have hidden agenda like I-know-that-you-don’t and that I’m my number one fan to my own talk show even though it appears that I’m talking to others (sindrom syiok sendiri).

    I observed there is always a layer of story in between me and the world I’m talking to; the world occurs to me through my story about it. I am the storyteller and I have become the story I told myself. I am always been my favorite subject – my only subject, and it’s all about me.

    Who would you (and the world) be without my story about you (and the world)?

  3. ym says:

    Thank you for such clarity. I, too, have beaten myself up many times and walked away with droopy head promising myself not to do that anymore. The frustration of “Why cant they see what I see” only reflects what is lacking within me.
    From now on, I will be reminded to pass on the keys without bothering whether they start the car or not.

    • GG says:

      So do you now see how I have passed the key to you, or set the key nicely at the ignition for you, and your only thing to do now is to decide if you will turn that key to start the engine; or simply allow the key to stay at the ignition; or to remove the key from the ignition. 🙂

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.