Feed on

Am I really loving you? Or the experience that I am having with myself but with you in it? If it was another that I was experiencing this with, would it be then that I am loving another and not you? Would the result of my experience with you or another be of any different, except in the judgmental context of my mind? When I feel ecstatic, is it really you who makes me feel this way, or my own senses heightened which results in my ecstatic experience? So is it you, or is it the experience that I am in love with? If my experience is coming from the state of my mind, then how could it be you that I am in love with?

You touch me, but who feels it? Although it looks like you are the one touching me, it is actually just me touching me… because the touch on my skin, has brought about sensations which can only be interpreted in my mind. If my state of mind is joyful, then feeling of joy would be my experience. If my state of mind is fear, then feeling of pain or resentment might set in. Can you see then it has nothing to do with you? So how could I be in love with you?

When you sit next to me, your body brushing against mine, oooh that thrill… but is it really your body brushing against mine that is thrilling me, or is it my thought of your body brushing against mine that is thrilling me? If I had no thought of being thrilled by your body brushing against mine, then would I still be thrilled when your body is really brushing against mine? And if I had that thought of your body brushing against mine, thrilling me; then could be it that even without your body brushing against mine, the feeling of thrill visits me anyway? Then who or what am I feeling thrilled with, except with my own state of mind? So can you see now, my feeling of thrill, or ecstasy has nothing to do with you… and if my feeling of thrill or ecstasy has nothing to do with you, then how could I be hurt by you? That’s absolute crap.

And when I come back to me again, fully aware of my own mental states, although I see you, but I don’t really see you. I am only seeing me, because there is only me… swimming in the myriads of my own emotions, my own thoughts, my own state of mind…  So how could it be that there is someone else out there who could make me happy, make me sick, make me thrilled, or turn me off… absolute, absolute crap…

So when I know of this, and I understand and realize of this, I recognize and appreciate that you have never done anything. Can you imagine how freeing that could be for you and me? No, don’t imagine it… breathe in it! Because this IS the truth! We have never done anything to each other. We are free. And this definitely calls for a celebration of liberation!!

2 Responses to “Peak of Ecstasy, yet Nothing to do with You.”

  1. Sot-Sot One says:

    You are here to serve as a mirror, I am here to syiok-sendiri. To shock-sendiri also need mirror. Mirror, mirror on the wall, who could be free without the service of mirrors out there?

  2. Hor Tuck Loon says:

    The mind,
    a bubble of its own,
    contacting no one,
    feeling no one,
    thinking no one,
    touching none,
    except its own.

    The mind,
    no shape,
    no form,
    no name,
    not even “mind”.

    The mind,
    a mirage,
    a bubble,
    a cloud,
    a dream,
    – illusionary.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.