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Return of an Old Friend

You visit me
once again
as if proving to me
I can never get away from you
conjuring stories, images
of anything perceived
based on what seems to be happening
only meanings you summon
just because…

Imposing others’ stories, experiences
onto mine
as if I have no choice
but to follow suit
is that really true
that I do not have a choice
but to tread the path that others have
to determine my own destiny?

Do I believe you?
I do get caught, sometimes
in the web of delusion
you present to me.

Do I fight you?
Admittedly, yes I do
albeit in a pretty subtle way

do I follow you
or stand where I am
there is nothing to do
except for all to unfold
for if there is anything
that is needed
I would have known
for sure, in clarity.

And I know
what you are getting at
as if just wanting to find that landing
ground that lily pad
but I am unwilling, you see
to follow you
not because you may not be right
but because I am choosing my custodian
and my custodian
is no longer you.

I have
after all
come such a long way
to walk the same old, same old again
is to say
as if I had never learned.

the truth is
I have.

And I no longer believe in you
I have great compassion
for your cry out
that I thought was mine
at the very beginning.

I am grateful to you
‘O Unworthiness
and I love you.

Without you
the dramas in my life
would not have been thus colourful
I am choosing to experience
the beauty of life
without this agenda
as it is
gifted unto me.

So rest in peace
‘O dear friend
you have served me sufficiently
and it is now enough.

I have grown
seen you as you are
recognise you as you are
accept you as you are
yet no longer able
to believe
I am you.

I am now ready
for another ball game
so would you now
pack up and gently leave
for you are now redundant
from hence on.

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