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Dissolving “I”

“I am” is what creates reality or the so-called experience of “I am”. Without “I am”, there is no “I” hence no one there. No personality, no identification just pure experience and not even an experience but awareness of what is.

Whatever that is seemingly going on is just is, as it is, until “I” comes in with an “I am seeing”, “I am hearing”, “I am feeling” which can come as a pure form of identification or an expression. And yet, who or what identifies, who and what expresses?

The “I” that is identified has much to do with the past as in ideas or experiences moulded into a certain kind of pattern or personality of “I want”, “I don’t want”, “I like”, “I don’t like” strengthening the kind of “I” believed to exist or to be true, which contorts a pattern and thereby a personality, believed to be real of the “I am”. Without all these, what is left?

Just as seeing, hearing, breathing are occurring on its own, all at the same time; reflect a little when does “I” come it? It doesn’t until it does, and “it” becomes a reality when there is an identification or belief of “I am”. And the minute there is an “I am”, inevitably there is a “you”, “him”, “her” “them” “we” or whatever the separation of “I am” entails.

Ponder a little, if there is an “I am right”, surely there must be a “you are wrong”; if there is an “I am good” hence there must be a “you are wrong”. Paradoxically, the sheer acknowledgement of “I am wrong” or “I am bad” when “I am right” and “I am good”, the mind maximizes its own polarities and comes back to its middle. Yet comically, can a police man exist without a thief? Can a thief exist without a victim? And then what happens when the “I” is dissolved as the truth of “I” is seen leaving only a kind of space of vastness and void?

To begin the journey of truth is to begin the journey of seeking falseness of the “I”. Hence Jesus’ saying, “Seek not the truth but the false and the truth reveal itself”. Yet to begin such a journey can bring much irritation and hesitation to many. Yet again, if there can be a wise questioning of “who is irritated and who is hesitating”, perhaps the journey can bring much ease and confidence though much effort in remembering is also necessary.

The personalities that we think we are and of those that we come across with are all past memories, past ideas, past information which is brought to the present and there is really nothing wrong with that. Only that, once you have realized, what do you use it for? To propel the sense of separatedness or to gently merge with the drop and join with the ocean again; which is all there ever was anyway, and still is, as is.

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