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a blessing, or a curse?

If it is true that consciousness is the domain of ego
and body is part of mind
and mind being ego
and ego being self
is what I am dissolving
and non-self
is what I am to realise

then is it a blessing or a curse
that this body is still breathing
a blessing or a curse
that this body is still living
a blessing or a curse
that I am here, at all?

If it is so
this is an illusion
and all are illusionary
why did the Buddha teach
why did Jesus teach
why do the Masters share
of teachings and its lineages
the profound seriousness?

Surely
if it is seen
all as an illusion
and all else being illusionary
even this self or that body
why bother, really
to jump into the dream
to invite the ghosts to wake up
lest to make the ghosts realise
they are nothing but just ghosts?

Nothing real can be threatened.
Nothing real exists.
Does it mean that
when I can no longer be threatened
that means I am real?
And if the body still exists
and body being part of mind
and mind being ego
and consciousness being domain of ego
and ego is what I am learning to discern
as not me
am I still not trapped here
amidst the beautiful trees and concrete walls?

So is it a blessing or a curse
that there is still breath in this body?
Do I celebrate death of a body
or the birth of a baby?
Which is it? Which is it?
Simply too many daunting questions
irreconcilable.

Who am I? What am I?
Who is this “I” who is asking?
Is it a blessing, or a curse?

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