I receive this email about being a passerby to some, and some being passersby to me, occasionally. It is always an email to remind me to appreciate those in my life.
When I sit down quietly to reflect on the people whom I have been blessed with their presence; in the past of whom I seldom or do not meet up with anymore, or in the present of whom I interact with pretty frequently or not, to the point of those who have passed on; my heart swells with appreciation of how I had grown from then and am still being supported now to grow with their accompanying presence of those who are still within the vicinity of sight.
In a Christopher Moon’s workshop I attended last year, he reminded that people who do not serve us anymore in our lives will not appear in our holograms anymore – we either fall out of favor with them (though in this case, in peace), there is just no opportunity to meet up, or they pass on. And they are three kinds of people that we’d meet in our hologram – the individuals who reflect our processes, individuals who give us guidance or shed light on our paths, or individuals who just rope us in on their journey or experiences.
This vindication exactly mirrors the people who come in and out of our lives; which reminds me of another entry I wrote about symbols: In Love with Symbols? You must be Joking! In truth, everyone that comes into our lives represent a symbol or a purpose so to speak in our lives, playing a role for us to learn and understanding qualities of ourselves and to transcend that. I remember that we tell our best friends or even our lovers, “we will be together forever, ok?”; due to ignorance, we hold on to the bodies, instead of acknowledging or deciphering the real meaning of their presence in our lives. We miss the point. It is never up to us on one level of truth, whether we can be together forever or not – and again, that is not the point at all. Nobody knows for sure for how long a person is meant to stay in our lives, and until when. When the person leaves, the person leaves; likewise, when the person comes, the person comes. If we can view every person who comes and goes in our lives who blesses us with lessons to grow and learn, rather than holding on to the body that came and went; we’d appreciate what is right in front of us even more – a sort of appreciation that does not require attachment.
They are points in time of our lives. There is no judgment of why a person left a group, or how this person has changed and does not fit into the group anymore. There is no expectation and latching on to the person so to allow that person freedom and blessing to grow. When we do that, we are also giving ourselves allowance and freedom to grow, to honor our own tempo, space and lessons; at the same time respecting others and ourselves for it. There is no misunderstanding, grudges or ruling out others’ presence in our lives. We accept them as they come and go. Even if they were to pass on eventually, we respect that and bless their journey onwards – recognizing that their roles in our lives are finally completed. If we feel guilty or bad about their passing on, then that it serves as lessons for us too; and it is still ourselves that we need to resolve this with. No other.
I used to have silly sets of limitation to the ideas of ‘best friend’ and ‘enemy’ as well. Today, I realized that while no one is really my best friend or enemy, everyone is also my best friend and enemy; but the ultimate best friend and enemy to me, is me. The people that come into my life are the blessings – but my perception of them turns me into a best friend, or an enemy towards myself. This is the line drawn between wisdom and ignorance.
And it is at this point in time, when the ignorance can cross over to wisdom; where the enemy can be transcended to a best friend – though self-dependency, and also dependency on the people who are in our lives at that exact point in time – the victimizer or the victim in our lives are exactly our mirrors who shows us precisely how we define ourselves through our judgment towards them; the teachers and guides who shed light and guidance to us for the shift from ignorance to wisdom; and the friends and relatives who simply rope us into the experience for higher observation and learning. Each class of people can allow us go beyond ignorance into the field of wisdom when we are willing.
So the email about how each of us is a passerby to each other and vice versa, is true. Hence the message of the email must continue to serve as a way to remind us – to appreciate those who come and go in our lives, those who stay and pass in our lives – but I would add one more thing to appreciate, that is, to appreciate ourselves and our growth through them, detachingly. We forget no one, we remember us too.