What is there to forgive when it is not in front of your face?

Why not forgive when it is right in front of your face?

~ GG ~

Money, to many, has become a congruent trigger point for disharmony in relationships, and I do mean all kinds of relationships. During my younger days, a close friend of mine experienced an abusive relationship camouflaging a surrounding theme caused, or rather, triggered by the illusionary value and security that money provides.

It is as if money has some kind of illusive power and capacity to cause the insecurity and instability of mankind to the point of single-handedly destroying his own surrounding relationships. Scary, but somewhat true.

Yet, is money really the cause of all those arising emotions? Or is it more likely to be true that the meaning already exists in the mind hence giving rise to the meaning of power to money; observing how on the facade money can solve most, if not all, problems.

Now, I am neither denying the power of money nor am I advocating another meaning of it. Yet, without any meaning of that it is all powerfully saintly or evil, there is potential for money to gain its position rightfully and appropriately in a place in our society, our world in creating a balance within one’s life and within a community so to speak.

What I discovered about money is that it does have some kind of place since its existence is already undeniable. While many shun money as a root cause to greed and ‘evil’, it can very much potentially channel goodness, love and appreciation too. Not that Love needs money, but it can serve as an expression of Love rather than an expression of greed based on the intent of exchange.

Be thankful to money. No, not for the stuffs you can exchange it with. But be grateful to it for the experiences that it brings you even if it is an unpleasant one so to speak; for without it, it might not be possible to know the potential causes that are subtly haunting the relationship. When appreciation and gratefulness is in the response towards a seeming cause of money being a trigger in a relationship, something can actually begin to shift as the parties begin to work inwards towards the causes of such experiences and emotions rather than putting money or worst, the other parties as target of blame.

Nothing outside of us can ever be the cause of any discomfort that arises within us. Seek within and be liberated through realisation.

Though different objects sets an impression
possible each unique on its own
“different”
Hah! Really, what an illusion!
The same stuff – recycled.

Ancient, ancient
that’s all that can be said
as long as yearning is there
alertness is needed
even in slightest
even in minuetest
else it comes back through the backdoor
.
.
.
completely immersed
brutally bought in
Totally, totally… asleep…
.
.
Yet,
if one is aware that
one is asleep
then is one finally awake
or still asleep?

Even our apparent ‘loved ones’
it’s really quite amazing how we ‘survived’ this far
when what we are left with is only just a name, a label; so to speak;
Not to mention the imagination that comes along with it
of what is being experienced, observed and interpreted.

And the hopes of what we can actually get out of it
how ironic and silly
whether it is a thwarted need
or apparently, a godly goal to inspire and uplift another…

Simply, simply asleep…

To oneself, and also to the world…

A thought occurs, and I find that without questioning it, I am moving along with it, or resisting it. Without questioning it, or having the slightest insight of what the intent behind it is – that is where I am; chances of repeatedly doing what I have done before without pondering if that is entirely fruitful to me. Yet, to ascertain if that would be fruitful or fruitless to me is too would be a conclusion that I would and could make, for now, based on my past decisions, knowing and beliefs.

I have always been intrigued by this choice and no choice thing. One of my teachers reminds me that we always have a choice; and then another of my teacher shares that there is no choice. And then sometimes, I hear the same teacher who reminds me we always have a choice questioning me on how can there be a choice, and my other teacher who shares that there is no choice say, ‘choose again’. It becomes confusing after a while… and also, pretty hilarious when there is realisation.

The same subject was brought up again during a sharing session some time ago. And I find that most of us, if not all are still concluding if there is a choice or no choice when in truth, the pondering of such (the choice or no choice) is to leave the authentic moment Now and go back into some illusionary backward or forward to attempt a conclusion that could never, ever be made. It is very much like the conclusion we make on everything else be it a person or a scenario.

The truth is the choice chosen is always based on the moment, and in the moment that we have made that choice, we realise that in that choice chosen, that wasn’t much of a choice either. Yet, to say we have no choice, is also untrue, as if there are no other options left except what is available to me now.

Choice and no choice come in many levels. Choices become possible when there is open mindedness, when there is learning and of course supporting information. I invited some participants to ponder on the good and bad on reading during a weekend workshop. Whilst there were some of them who were unable to come up with anything that was ‘bad’ about reading, there was this one participant who was open minded enough to explore because she really wanted to know; and when she shared her thoughts with the rest of us, it opened up the minds of others as well. Of course, one might ask, what is the good in asking or inquiring… it is when you have an open mind to recognise the possibility then the choice or decision can then be made with a clear mind and wider potential; and whatever  the choice or decision may be; determines the action (in some cases) and thus experience.

The choice and no choice occurring in each individual is somewhat different in my observation. What is true and authentic for one, may not be so for another. And yes, every choice or decision made has its own cause and effect. Yet, if the choice is made based on the cause and effect experienced and concluded in the past, it can very much be based on ignorance too and not inviting oneself to explore new possibilities and potentials.

Still, choice and no choice is simply a noticing occurring in the moment. If it is within our capacity and ability to make a choice to move towards something, do it. If it is not, it is ok too and then it becomes a choice on how and what to perceive of it; that again choosing another outcome of experience internally. Every moment is an occurrence of choice and no choice since they are not really separated. Yet to ponder on this choice and no choice thing is as good as deciding whether I should go to the toilet or not when my bladder is already signalling and then pondering I could stay with it a little longer or simply surrender to it and go for a release. Well, until it is so full and it has to be released – it would still be a decision to be made if I would stay where I am for it to be released there and then itself (much like a baby who doesn’t care much until someone tells him/her it is a shame or that it is not right) or to head to the ‘rightful’ destination of what others call the toilet. It’s funny, come to think of it. And whatever choice that is to be made at that point in time, is ultimately the ‘best’ decision I could and can ever make in the moment! What could ever be wrong with it until I or someone begins to tell me that there is something ‘wrong’ with it?

Without a thought, there is nothing there…

And then a thought arise, and there is some interest to it… and then the body moves towards action and a story is born. Yet, there is really nothing to the story but the entire process of it, arriving at its destination to finally realise where it has arrived at.

And this is where the story this morning has arrived at, for her.

A remembrance – a beginning sometime ago, ending here; another beginning within its beginning, ending within its end ~ wherever it is.

Click on the Unconditional Sun (therein lies a creation by two in One, as One) and simply notice, enjoy where your beginning and ending is…

Picture taken in Bali, Dec 2011.
Poetic expression manifested in form by the ever-willing HTL, and GG in reply; within the realms and realization of what it is.

If you are not aware of what you are doing;
then how could you be doing otherwise,
but remain doing what you are already doing now?

If you are not aware of what you are doing;
totally unaware that you actually have a need to be aware,
then how could I ever see wrongness in you,
except to see where you are in this moment is simply perfect,
though with a wilful wish to nudge you a little of your need to be aware?

Yet,
if I am finally aware
that you are merely reflecting what is in my mind;
would I even bother if you are aware or unaware,
save to work with what is here within me,
recognising and appreciating your unawareness as a gift,
to my earlier unawake state?

Wherever and whatever you are in the moment is perfect. It is what you decide to make out of it – therein lies your potential. ~ GG ~

***

This short film was sent to me last Sept, 2011 by a dear friend. Only today, I watched it and found it truly inspiring and sharing it here with you.

People get into all kinds of relationships for many reasons out of their preferences of choice and there is no right or wrong in such choices although that choice may be perceived as such by the society. It is like, if I wished to have a child; it is likely that I would find someone who would also like to experience the same thing, having the same objective in mind. Likewise, if I wished to play a game of tennis, I would find someone who enjoys a game of tennis. In that instance, both are in sync and in tandem with each other, moulding in togetherness towards the specific direction of such experience. Yet, at any one time, when one falls of out sync or decides to experience something else, it is natural that both parties may move away from each other and may find it difficult to ‘meet’.  In areas of those of couple relationships, such change of direction can lead to a separation, not to mention that one that may end up in pain and resentment. Yet, in my experience, the pain or the meaning of separation itself is hugely misperceived with a lack of awareness on the part of the self in terms of neediness based on fear patterns. Although this example seems to imply those of boy-girl special relationships but if you were to ponder deeply, it happens to almost all kinds of relationships/friendships.

I used to wonder why is it that one of my siblings is able to experience such intimate relationship with my dad and yet I find it difficult in doing so. I later realised that my sibling’s deep understanding of my dad was because he not only listened to my dad’s expressions of what is in him but also found ways to communicate with my dad to how he truly felt inside over certain matters important to him. The relationship is truly inspiring as there is much honesty and authenticity to the point that my sibling is open enough to point out dad’s errors and dad would just listen. For that, their relationship is constantly nurturing each other from the space of love, understanding and truth.

Clearly, it is my own error for not having the courage to express authenticity or even daring to be visible about what and how I truly feel inside. I usually just did my best to do whatever he wanted me to do, or simply stay away when I knew that state of mind did not allow me to be who he wanted me to be that day. No wonder, the ‘afar-ness’.  And all this while, I felt that he was the one who did not understand me when it was an arrogant thinking on my part that I understand him reasoning why it is better just not to let him know how I felt inside. In truth, it was my own limitation and lack of wisdom in carrying out my message to him that wouldn’t allow him to understand and see me. This is also a similar pattern carried in almost any kind of relationships. And guess what, we just kind of concluded other people’s sense of maturity!

Yet, visibility is not about revealing everything about us but rather, being necessarily honest and transparent enough in expressing and revealing that part of ourselves to people that we love. Quite contrarily to the thought system that ‘if I tell him/her this part of me, I will hurt him/her; or he/she will dislike or leave or not love or not accept me’, such authenticity and honesty actually nurtures the relationship in allowing another to understand you at an even deeper level. It is about being visible to another so that the other can finally see us clearly rather than playing the guessing game. Do you not find that it is much easier to be with someone whom you know is entirely honest about how he or she feels about things? It is like there is no pretence or feeling of hiding. Else, it is like playing a game of hide and seek and the aim is to never be found!

Hiding creates bondage in the mind. In fact, it adds on more to what is already in the mind especially when there is a hovering issue in the mind. Yet being visible in a relationship, as threatening as it may sound, actually brings the relationship to a higher level of trust, openness and love.