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Posts Tagged ‘attachment’

You have to save yourself from so many good-intentioned people, do-gooders, who are constantly advising you to be this, to be that.

Listen to them, thank them.

They don’t mean any harm — but harm is what happens.

You just listen to your own heart. That is your only teacher.

~ Osho ~

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We are all living from memory. There is nothing that comes to our senses which is not known or understood from some form of memory.

Memories are information or knowledge from the past, whether it is being taught by another or through an individual experience, or even an observation. Whenever any piece of these information or knowledge is picked up whether consciously or unconsciously, they are retained in the mind. In other words, there is really no real sense of choice or choosing when or what comes and at the same time being picked up by the mind to make memory. In short, we can conclude (for the sake of mutual understanding that the function of retaining information or knowledge whether through observation, experiential or being taught is what we refer to as memory. If you haven’t noticed, any realization that you have had before also becomes part of memory.

Imagine if you were standing in a room with a table, a chair, a piece of paper and a pen on the table and a live chicken on the same table. Without memory, you would not be able to discern that the position that you have undertaken is actually standing not to mention the possibility of not being able to tell apart the floor, the door, the ceiling, the table, the chair, the piece of paper, the pen and the live chicken. Without memory too, you might not be able to tell or feel weird that a live chicken is sitting on the table. And that is what memory does, it forms your perception and hence an experience comes about.

People either appreciate or do not appreciate their experience. When they appreciate or do not appreciate their experience and try to recreate or detest that experience again, it is the function of memory occurring again with additional elements of attachment and greed to the same experience or its opposite. Either way, there is no difference as both are still functioning from memory. Now, memory is not the problem, but the meaning put onto that memory. In truth, memory is just memory but memory becomes heaven or hell depending very much on the information or knowledge on such information or knowledge itself. It is like those bricks which is laid cemented one on top of another building a wall. And that is how our blocks come about, as in the limitation of how we are each time perceiving and thus experiencing life – because a wall has been built, and is constantly thickening whenever further subscription is applied onto it – more bricks, more cement.

How the majority of the world functions today is that they try to change their outer circumstances in order to change their experience instead of realizing that their experience is churned out by memory. Now, I am not saying that we don’t change any outer circumstances if it is within our power to do so. For example, if it is within your power to walk from the centre of the room to the door, do it! And if you are on a wheel chair, and you want to move from the centre of the room to the door, you roll the handles on the wheel chair and move yourself from the centre of the room to the door. But if you want to walk when you are in the wheel chair, then there you have had it – your suffering, because even though it might happen through some form of therapy or surgery in near future, it isn’t going to happen today. And when it doesn’t happen today, you will feel resentful towards yourself being in such a situation. And that too, is because of memory, because there is a remembrance of what it was like before the current situation of being seated in a wheelchair. And like it or not, this very experience of resentment forms part of memory also, accumulating the bricks and cements.

Since the function of memory is not personal except taken personally, it is helpful to acknowledge that what comes up in experience is a meaning attached to memory. This is the first step in cultivating a new pathway in the mind for a different kind of experience away from suffering. In my observation, this methodology can form as memory only that this kind of memory frees you, instead of keeping you trapped in the previous meaning of memory that brings about limitation and suffering.

Because of this function, it does seem as if we can never ‘run away’ from the past. In this sense, it is somewhat true since memory is beyond our control. Yet, as mentioned above, there is nothing wrong with memory except for the meaning that we put onto memory. To constantly realise or to possess the inner knowing of this, is giving you a choice right now to choose again how you would relate to this memory.

Inviting you to a related article The World is Over, Long Gone, authored by a dear friend.

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Gratitude is a state of Mind from Love, as in one of the expressions of Love itself. It is a lovely experience as effect created by specific internal and external conditions where ideas are not short of its role in the process.

Yet, Gratitude is not something to hold on to, as in to return the favour, or gesture that has a subtle meaning of bondage; though often, unnoticeable. That is altogether another thing. In fact, that itself is no longer gratitude, but referred to as Indebtedness, as in a debt, or an owing. And we know that no debt or owing can carry an experience of joy and freedom but a sense of need or obligation instead.

Do not get confused with Gratitude and Indebtedness. Gratitude is Love, and Indebtedness is Guilt. Gratitude reinstates you, and Indebtedness makes you lose yourself. They are from different roots and the outcome of experience is each different.

Guilt cannot equate to Love. For Love has no guilt. Love does not require you to feel guilty to repay or to return or to obey. You ‘repay’, ‘return’ or ‘obey’ because of Love, and then it is Love returning to Love, Love reflecting Love.

People say “I am indebted to you forever”. To me, that is a momentary expression and they make it into an obligation, to a point of stressfulness; forgetting the initial intent of an act from another in the first place was to bring about Love and Freedom itself. Sometimes, these kinds of expressions are held on so tightly in the mind that it lasts a lifetime, or even lifetimes. And we wonder, “why God makes us suffer?”

A true act that arises from Love always has joy and freedom in it. An act that arises from guilt will carry resentment, discomfort and slavery in it. And the truth is, you can do anything – for yourself, for another, for the world from the intent of Love, and the word ‘bondage’ or the experience of ‘suffering’ cannot even surface save for moments of unconsciousness – that is, when there is guilt running at the background of the mind, unseen.

When you truly look inwardly into your own beingness, you will be able to discern wisely thus allowing yourself to move consciously in and with Love consistently.  This is indeed the only duty and responsibility we owe to ourselves and the world.

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spoken too soon
without Wisdom
non-expectedly
it came a visit
knocking on the door
once again
a recurring of memory
apparently happening now

but is it really happening now
or only happening in thoughts now
churning out an experience
primeval yet familiar
opposite of Reality

asleep, awake,
asleep and then awake

unconscious, conscious
unconscious and then conscious

if only, if only

yet is it not obvious
a gift it is

the unreleased to be released
the ungiven up to be given up
the unforgiven to be forgiven
the unloved to be loved

only one purpose
only one purpose

the non-goner, a goner
and finally back to a non-goner and a goner again
an endless end
yet it’s ok
all iz well
all-iz-well

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Do you really think you can kill
a person, a situation or even a thought?

That would be ignorance,
working its work.

What you can really do
is to understand
to realise
the cause behind
what that caused you the intent to kill,

and you can be rest assured
finally
smiling and at peace
with a person, a situation and even a thought.

For you’d see,
how you could never hate or resist
a person, a situation or a thought
especially not to the point of killing
but only to the idea of a person, a situation or even a thought –

in the meaninglessness of the idea
you’d finally arrive at your own pain
yet paradoxically also,
Your Own Freedom.

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If you were going to a place of where you are reminded of not only the System,
but also made known to the Creation of the System,
rather than the rules that you’d have to adhere to get into some good book;
I would be gladden.

If you were going to a place of where you are encouraged,
to observe your pattern of having to seek approval, love, appreciation and attention from others, and thereafter transcend above them;
I would be assured.

If you were going to a place or a doctor,
to seek a sense of belonging, to feed your sense of righteousness, your needs
or to take an easy way out through the world;
I would be dumb founded.

For you would never know what it is like
to truly forgive,
to truly stand in your own power,
to love unconditionally,
to be One with Love Itself;
and I…

I would be in a state of blasphemy.

For my Love for you is so great that I would and could only bless you
with the awakening to the Truth,
the Ultimate Reality
where there is no separation with and amongst all that you see in the world.

Yet what the System has for you is far much greater,
for It has blessed and given you the greatest gift –
free will;
to choose again, always in any moment…

So if you are blessed with your freedom to choose,
who am I
to stand in your way of your gift
to ask of you to walk with me this road
where I have derived much joy and freedom,
though still in the world of ridiculous rules and bondage?

Still, I am grateful…
for the System is always Perfect
liken to this,
Now,
also Perfect;
and It remains as Is –
never dumb founded, never in a state of blasphemy or whatsoever…
simply Perfect,
ever so blissfully, patiently and unwavering loving you unconditionally as you are;
no matter what you believe you are to be.

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The comfort of a woman to a man, is different from a comfort of a man to another man.

The comfort of a man to a woman, is different from a comfort of woman to another woman.

And I do mean this in the context of a friendship, not a special relationship.

True friends, are beyond gender and thereby unconditionally comforting to what they can offer in a friendship through their own specific form to another.

Yet strangely, the world is looking for something so specific, obscuring the rest of the world.

~ GG ~

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Different objects, similar feelings;
Is it the object
or something else in the mind?

Though different objects sets an impression
possible each unique on its own
“different”
Hah! Really, what an illusion!
The same stuff – recycled.

Ancient, ancient
that’s all that can be said
as long as yearning is there
alertness is needed
even in slightest
even in minuetest
else it comes back through the backdoor
.
.
.
completely immersed
brutally bought in
Totally, totally… asleep…
.
.
Yet,
if one is aware that
one is asleep
then is one finally awake
or still asleep?

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Loss or wastage is really just a perception, and hence propels an expression of action that actually causes actual wastage. The views of what is perceived as loss or wastage determines the next course of action and hence experience of it. Yet, it is also the experience that has been gained internally perceiving wastage for something external that is no longer can be used, or at least the view of it not being used, that creates the perception of being wasted.

‘Wastage’ and ‘I no longer have use for it’ are two different things altogether. ‘Wastage’ is to denote that the material is now no longer can be used while, ‘I no longer have use for it’ emphasizes the useful or uselessness of the material only related to me, and me only.

I have been blessed in crossing paths with several few who prohibit and express the unwillingness of letting go of whatever that is no longer serving their wellness but instead, feed on the illusion of burden of having to keep. Admittedly, I am one of them. It can be a house, a habit, a material, a job, even a relationship; whatever it may be and the caption of ‘accept what is’ then eventually becomes a statement of ignorance that causes inner conflict and thus resentment and thereby giving reason that as long as I am not yet ‘accepting what it’, I get to keep it. It is as if ‘accept what is’ is now an excuse to keep holding on.

Change is permanent, whether it is an external or internal process. The truth is that each of us are constantly growing, evolving where change is permanently taking place and this is not something we can stop or change except to make peace with what is. This is different  from what is here and not doing anything about it; on the contrary, change can happen on many levels from a true ‘accepting what is’ realised state and motivates one to move towards a change more resonating with one’s own being.

Readiness to change is not always present, and this is the truth. Yet, let it be brought to awareness that readiness is present except for the unwillingness and limitation of it and hence creating that constant inner conflict.

It is important to address inner conflict. Yet many resist it. Even a practitioner who has been long on the journey may occasionally slip into the unconscious state of resistance. It is like a misaligning of spirit, mind and body occurring at that time. For instance, wishing to start an exercise regime, yet you find yourself sitting with a tub of ice cream and the mind is constantly complaining and feeling regret over it. If this is unseen, the inner conflict may propel to the point of depression.

Accepting what is is more than not doing anything. It is moving along with the flow of life. It is important to notice ‘what is’ changes constantly, all the time; and to resist it is the only true loss, in the sense of being honest and authentic to the self as that itself would be the true waste; until one wakes up to it.

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Reality and fact are really quite subjective to the beholder. I dressed really simple to the mall yesterday and met a beloved friend there for a while. She shared with me this morning that eventhough I was dressed pretty shabby the day before, she noticed that people still looked at me because I am pretty looking no matter what I wore.

The truth is, we’d never really know if that is the truth. I shared with her that it is because she loves me, and she finds that I am pretty looking and loving in her perception hence whenever she discovers anyone looking at me, her conclusion is that because people must be looking at me because they see me pretty looking or loving. Yet, we could never really know what runs through others’ mind and even if what she said was exactly running in other’s mind, it would have nothing to do with her, or me. It is not about me being pretty looking or not, but rather, acknowledging how we project onto others our own views and perceptions of things, thinking that if I feel or think this way about something, surely someone else must feel the same way.

Projection are made out of means assumptions, conclusions and judgements yielded from what makes us, or rather, what is in the mind. The truth is that the mind can only project what it is and seldom does the mind perceive things as they are. Just today, my little one and her best friend also got into a misunderstanding just because of what they each thought the other was doing to each other. The little one was fuming over something else, while her best friend was running around looking for her not knowing what went wrong.

Misunderstanding of behaviour and words causes much misery to one’s heart and friendships. It either results in one drawing away, or moving closer to show concern and that concern is really not about the other, but more from the space of appeasing that someone so that one’s own discomfort is soothed.

I have a friend who recently realised that she projects onto quiet people that they are cranky or have problems because that is what would make her be quiet. That projection itself may cause her to redraw from the person whom she perceives as quiet, or to show concern (as mentioned above). Both her actions are to make her feel better in addressing ‘the issue’ that she thought was outside of her and for that, she will constantly be uncomfortable in the presence of people who are quiet. The truth is, we never really know the reason of why people are quiet or not, at least in this case. Not knowing is not that bad, because we can always ask; but to make an assumption or a conclusion without really knowing the truth is only propelling unnecessary misunderstandings amongst people or situations.

A participant posed a question to me yesterday ‘what if the other person is lying?’

You see, that question itself is also a projection. How would one know if one is not that? How about what if the other person is not lying and is simply telling the truth? Is it not possible to see and accept things or people as they exactly are? If they are not talking, they are not talking; if you feel like talking, you talk. If it inspires you to ask, “are you ok?”, go ahead and ask and this is acknowledging too, that it is because it is important for you to know. Even being concern itself, is for you and you alone… and if it so happens that the other is really not ok… go ahead and do your thing, which is to uplift another!

At the end of the day, it is not about what is outside bur rather, acknowledging what is arising in the mind in each of our own space. When we take responsibility for what arises in the moment, then is there a possibility to see things as they are; else, our views of the world will constantly be tainted by the past in the now.

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