We can never escape from the myriads of emotions that arise in our day-to-day living. While we welcome pleasant feelings such as happiness, joyfulness and peace, we on the other hand very much detest the opposite kind of feelings such as sadness, insecurity, anger, aversion and etc. We all know why we detest these feelings – because we don’t want the pain. And without further consideration, we sweep ‘pain’ under the carpet again.
I have a friend who recently admitted to me that whenever she met up with me, she always felt emotional to the extent of tearing. It’s like meeting up with me brings up certain realization in her that she could no longer hide that there is pain in her life, that she is unhappy. While she had and still has every choice not to meet up with me, she herself could not understand why she feels happy and excited to meet up with me. I questioned her reluctance in looking at her own pain. She merely blurted, “I don’t know what it is, and I don’t want to go there.” Now, that is a lie. It is not nature that we don’t know what it is, and don’t want to find out. It is when we know what it is, and then make ourselves forget what it is yet have some vague memory of pain of it, and then tell ourselves we don’t want to know what it is – which brings us back at war with ourselves – already a form of self betrayal, self hatred.
No matter how much we try to mask the pain, it does not make it any better for us. We could try to lie to ourselves for a while, but like it or not, it haunts us, pokes us, relay its reality in people whom we love in the form of projection until we are willing to embrace it, face it and there lies the ultimate; which we are fearful we may never get out of it scot-free.
The truth is this. I am telling you – yes, it is painful; but I am also telling you, beneath that pain, lay your power, your treasure, your peace, your joy or whatever you want to call it. Would you take a risk?
The fear can be really tormenting. Everyone goes through it; no one is excluded if freedom and peace is what we want for ourselves. Having said that, we are not to dwell in the pain, dear one, but to be with it and observe it. That is why the practice of mindfulness is important – not only in a formal sitting position, but in our moment-to-moment activity. Having to admit that the hardest in this practice is to remember, still that doesn’t yet give us any excuse to turn away from our pain; except our own wanting to deny our own peace and freedom. To heal that pain, is to walk with it, and be with it. You will be surprised and awed by the magical moment when you stay present to it, you are released. And that can only come with honesty, integrity and willingness. With the amount of doing unto your wound, would take you the same amount of undoing to heal your wound. However, with right mindedness and attitude in place, support – seen or unseen – are naturally with you. All you have to do is ask, and you shall be given.