For a while now I have realized how the living life in societal context is actually meaningless. A friend once asked me, that if she was not playing mom to her kids, wife to her husband, teacher to her students, who then is she? Coincidently, my teacher also mentioned something about mid-life crisis last night during a sharing. While I am not very sure what mid-life crisis is all about but I do get a hint that it is about questioning the meaning of life. And in a different conversation with my Darling, she mentioned that she met up with a cousin who told her that in life, there must be goals so that there is to be excitement or what we say in Cantonese ‘chi kek’.
Yes, haven’t we heard? But consider that without all those goals and doings, who are we? I was reading a story called “Mr. Nobody” from the Little Men series to my daughter where Mr. Happy told Mr. Nobody who keeps insisting that he is a nobody, that everybody is a somebody. Is that really true? But who are we but the some “bodies” defined by a bundle of thoughts and ideas?
Having been on a rice and water fast during this period, it is interesting that the mind interprets that life is indeed meaningless without much variance of taste if not for different spices made possible to have different experiences. Why do people go to a buffet line? Some go to eat all they can, while some go for the variety. I like the variety part, which explains why the taste of rice, and rice only would seem so dull and yucky to me to a point of nausea. But if I were to carefully observe the mind again, it is all about spice. It is all about the excitement to experience different taste (in this case of food), to satisfy the thirsting drive for thrill and variety so to speak. Remember when Celine Dion’s ‘My Heart will Go on’ was playing again and again and again over the radio when the movie Titanic was screening? Listeners loved that they were able to listen to their ‘favorite’ song of that time over the radio, but after a while listeners got bored citing that it was overplayed. Some of them still thinks that this song is really disgusting up till today… guess the ‘overloaded’ feeling is still fresh in their minds! So, it looks like too much of a favorite anything can lead to boredom and thereafter disgust to a certain extent too.
So back to the meaningless part of living life in a societal context. Everything is meaningless if we are living to endure – to make ends meet, to be somebody, to make my parents proud, to fulfill a legacy. There is no meaning to it. We wake up, brush our teeth, dress up, go to work, come home, have dinner, watch TV, make love (if we are lucky) and then go to sleep and by the time the alarm clock rings again, we are up doing the same robotic routine again. Of course, I am not saying that this applies to all. It is very encouraging to see more and more young people willing to take the risk to live their hearts’ desire than following the mass. But having said that again, without that desire, life itself, is in fact meaningless. Again, are we moved to sway with desire, or are we creating a desire to exist? Each connotation once again calls for different results and experiences. People think that it is important to live a legacy, but to whom would the legacy be left for? The point here is not about leaving a legacy or a good name so to speak but more of relevant examples or role model types to encourage the good will of others. Why not instead, live. Just live, instead of living for something which is meaningless. We think it is an aim, but it is just a delusional aim. What we are blessed with at the end of day is the experience of bliss and joy and freedom. If legacy and money accompanies it, then so be it! What would have deemed to be meaningless initially then becomes meaningful, in service to the Spirit within instead.
And to live means to abide to our heart’s desires. To live is to find freedom and bliss despite the limitations. To live is to never look back and regret. To live is to never look forward and worry. In order to even have a chance to live, is to be here and now – to embrace all that is already present here for each and every one of us through our senses – of which make the experiential myriads of encounters possible.