Begin to see how much you try to change others to fit your image of how you think they should be. Be aware of how others try to change you. Feel the push and the pull. That is the world of the ego.
Ego is the most insecure thing in the universe. That is why it is always trying to take sides and bolster its position. It has no native confidence in itself and therefore no generosity of spirit.
It hates everything because it hates itself. All its pride is but a show. Take ego apart and you find an open wound.
Ego is the part of you that doesn’t know that you are loved. It can’t give love, because it doesn’t know it has love to give.
How do the unloved and unlovable find love? That is the cry of every soul in exile in the world.
Ego must be taught that it has love. This is a threatening proposition, for as soon as ego recognizes it has love, it ceases to be ego. Ego must die as ego to be reborn as love.
Now you know why most people resist enlightenment. The idea of waking up is scary to anyone who is still asleep. You keep thinking, “When I wake up, I may not be there!”
That is why your fear of death and your fear of waking up are the same fear. The unlimited, universal Self is not born until the limited, temporal self dies.
So death will come, one way or the other. Either you will die, or you will wake up, which is a different kind of dying.
Once you awake, dying is no big deal. You have no more prized identify to lose. Whether you stay in physical form or not isn’t important. Either way, you need to be present.
Dying is one of the best ways to learn to be present. If you want to wake up quickly, try drying. When you are dying, you are aware of things in a way you never were before. You notice every breath, every nuance, every flower, every word, or gesture of love.
Dying is like a crash course in waking up. Now that doesn’t mean that everyone who dies wakes up. It just means they’ve taken the course.
Those who graduate from the course are content to be wherever they are sent. If that means somewhere in a body, so be it. If that means assisting someone in a body, that’s fine too.
It doesn’t really matter where you do because you have nothing to prove. You are there simply to be helpful.
Disengaging from meaningless identity is an inevitable aspect of the path back home. The less you have to protect, the more help that you can be. And the more help you give, the more blissful your experiences becomes.
While I would not go so far as to say “dying is fun”, I would say that dying is “not fun” only because you are still hanging onto some shred of self-definition.
Your whole experience on earth is a process of learning to trust in yourself, in your brother and in God. In the final moment of awakening, when trust blossoms fully, these three aspects of Self merge into one.
That moment cannot be described in words, but I assure you that you will experience it. And until you experience it, nothing will ever make complete sense to you.
~ Excerpts from Chapter: The Death of the Ego, Love without Conditions by Paul Ferrini ~