We are so afraid that we will lose our loved ones, or all that is important or valuable to us now. But the truth is this, whoever our loved ones, whatever our assets do not belong to us. Yes, it may seem to be under our care, our guidance but it was never meant for us to hold on to, or to be attached to. When I say that it was never meant to be that way, I am simply implying that it is an illusion to even believe in such.
The attachment to people or things are merely reflecting a holding on to certain ideas of yet other certain ideas to the meaning of the people or things that we think we possess. Simply, just symbols. Yet when we like those ideas of what we have on a particular person or material, we tend to hang on to that person or material totally ignoring the truth behind it. Not that it is of any malicious or horrible sin, and sin itself is not to mean it is of any wrong – but simply defined as missing the mark. Only in missing the mark, our sufferings multiply as we draw ourselves deeper and deeper into the illusion that this person or this thing could ever be taken away from us! And in that fear of losing, we tighten our grip even stronger, totally injuring only ourselves and no other. Again, nothing wrong with sufferings; as long as you enjoy it!
And it is interesting to observe, what this idea of attachment to another idea can do to one person to the point of self sabotage of one’s own peace of mind. It is as if the delusion as it is, is not enough that it needs to develop further and further to the point of alteration where the source is totally way off its tangent – mutated beyond recognition, as I recall one of my teacher’s blog entries. And it takes much more effort for layers to be peeled, to be undone; to finally arrive at the destination of recognition and acknowledgement.
It is astonishing to discover that to keep someone or something; we go all the way out to retain it – doing this, doing that, learning this, learning that; just to seek approval, just for it to remain. And yet, the harder we try, the further it is away from us – whether a person or a thing. I remember this guy’s excitement when he bought his partner a new car. He was so ‘in love’ with the car that he paid so much attention to it to the point it was a problem for him on how his partner opened the car door, or how she drove the car and etc. As much as it became a little stressful for her to drive the car in his presence, there came this day where he was the one who drove into a deep pot hole instead (thank God nothing happened to the car! Phew!). He was embarrassed, angry, stressed and etc. Clearly, he had a certain idea of the car, and also another certain idea of himself if he were to own or drive the car, and since he likes the idea of himself owning the car; a meaning which is illusionary and delusive on its own; he ends up with another idea of attachment to the idea of how the car would make him feel with the idea of the car which he already has. Goodness gracious, ideas on top of ideas! How many layers more to go!!
It indeed sounds scary just imagining the amount of work to do, opps… to undo I mean. So it is never really the person, or the item that we are attached to, and that is exactly what I meant to say earlier that it is not meant to be this way – because, it cannot be at all. It is a deception!
And to be able to recognize that it is the ideas that we are being attached to, is to begin paying attention to our inner world – the hurt, the anger, the sadness, the desires – what they all speak of us, what do they tell of us – and in that space of honesty and integrity, will the mind’s imagination in horrors of horrors come to an end, where it begun in the first place; and in the instance of closure, will Truth emerge its head.
Protect all things you value by the act of giving them away, and you are sure that you will never lose them. What you thought you did not have is thereby proven yours. Yet value not its form. For this will change and grow unrecognizable in time, however much you try to keep it safe. No form endures. It is the thought behind the form of things that lives unchangeable.
– A Course in Miracles, Lesson 187
*Note: – and it doesn’t mean that it is necessary that we give the person or the item away either, it is only the meaning and perception that we are asked to give up, for our own peace of mind, for the love of Truth; and herein lies our freedom.