Many people have this idea that forgiveness means to excuse another or oneself of an act perceived to have been wronged, unfavorable, guilty or hurtful. That, to what Gary Renard and his ascended masters, and now to me too, is an old fashioned way of forgiveness which does not work at all. This kind of forgiveness is to acknowledge that sin is possible, that we can be hurt, or that we can hurt others. But let’s take the common analogy, which is acknowledged by many – no one can make me feel what I don’t want to feel; then wherein lay the opportunity for that kind of forgiveness?
So most of us to a certain great extend agree that no one can make us feel bad or angry or guilty unless we allow it; yet in practicality, we are triggered left, right, center, front and back non-stop. But if we are truly buying into the idea of ‘no one can make me feel anything unless I allow’, then how is it possible that we get triggered? It is like telling people, ‘I don’t want to be angry’ when anger has already arisen! When we ‘don’t want to be angry’, we are already not being true to ourselves and thus pushing away the anger into the abyss of the mind, sweeping it under the carpet which is probably already full of other emotions waiting for us to address.
Yes, yes… we all don’t like to feel unpleasant feelings; while it is wise to choose to feel better to elevate those unpleasant feelings, can we at least be honest with our own feelings and understand what happened here?
Choosing to feel better by suppressing unpleasant feelings is not wise. It is a camouflaged state of ignorance and escapism. We will realize that we are triggered again and again until to the point where we cannot take it anymore, we then proceed with very childish ways to either get back at another, or to cut ties with the other. If we have not already done that, we are just like a ticking time bomb, waiting to explode; and I am sure, deep down inside, it will not be a pretty sight.
Forgiveness, in its true sense, is to forgive our perception that something actually happened and at the same time, acknowledging that nothing really happened. While it seems astonishing to most that such statement could ever been made – nothing really happened; it is indeed a very true statement. Let’s give an example, if someone calls me stupid, and I am already assured to the core of my being that I am not stupid, what this person says to me or about me will not even touch me; but if I am triggered, even in a subtle sense, wouldn’t that mean that there is a part of me that truly believes that I am stupid and that this person was only pointing out to me a false belief I secretly believe about myself? And for that, it is gratitude towards this person; wherein the anger, hatred and resentment? And if this person is merely acting out to show me what I secretly believed about myself, is it not true that nothing has happened here?
To elaborate further on the forgiveness of our misperception that something really happened here, it is to acknowledge that we had projected out our unconscious guilt onto another or a situation that we are not willing to look at. Thus if we are forgiving another person, or a situation, it seems to have a subtle sense of superiority of ‘I am greater than you’ whether in terms of compassion or greatness. That itself is to put another or the situation small. But the truth is this – we are triggered, and that superiority or greatness is not going to make us feel any better though it seems to work for a short period of time. What we are achieving here is to un-root the cause that makes us feel this way, since we already very well know no one out there can make us feel the way we do. It is not about switching thoughts but undoing the cause of which produces such thoughts; at least, until we truly see the meaninglessness of such thoughts.
One faint form of attack is self-blame. Blaming exist in the very nature of the mind that has not come to understand that there is no sin. So, even when we don’t blame someone out there, the tendency of self-blame is strong since now, the apparent attention is given back to the ‘cause’. But we ourselves (as in the bodies) are not the source of the cause. The bodies or identities that we associate with are too, effects. So what we are dealing with now is the causal effects in the mind; and therein is the opportunity to switch the course of experience for any one of us.
It takes a quality to beget a similar quality in another; such is the law of attraction. So to work with one another with the true meaning of forgiveness is indeed an opportunity to correct oneself of his or her perceptions and the result is experiences of freedom and much loving moments with another, be it a parental relationship, partnership, friendship or what have you.
Each triggered moment is a call back to ourselves to understand and correct what we had mistakenly thought of ourselves. The storyline of how it leads us there is not important. The most important is that we continuously remember that forgiveness (the true way) is introduced to nullify the unconscious guilt that is held in the mind. And here is where it is assured, the opportunity of peace to finally arise.