I am sad today
from a deep pondering and realisation
of an echo back to me
of what a teacher mentioned a few days ago
resounding how
“I miss Myself”
that
really
no one actually recognises me.
I sit here at the top of the hill
thinking those who have supported my climb up here
would know
would finally rejoice with me
yet I noticed
how they are relating to me
how they are still seeing me
still taking me as
an old facade I previously thought was me
to function in the world
but yet
not really me.
It is true
Finally! There is only One
and whilst recognising the many
as One
sadly
where I am
no longer
able to compromise in play.
Even the closest symbol
of whom I’d thought had recognised me from the start
again and again
continuously showing me
how he longer recognises me
or perhaps
never did
each time
relating to me as a past
and I am sadden
for when the closest does not even recognise me
what hope would I have
of others who would?
A teacher told me
that if anyone recognised Him
there would be nothing left to say
and I understood that
in deep resonance
for that it is true
when recognition takes place
everything, anything and nothing
ceases to exist
meeting Oneself in that silence.
And in any break of silence
only One playing as two
dancing to that deep immortality
as One
in Joy, in Love
in unconditionality.
Do you see me, ‘O Teacher?
Do you see me, ‘O Lover?
Do you see me, ‘O Brother?
Do you see me, ‘O Sister?
Does anyone see me at all, really?
Where are thou eyes?
Fixated on this form
which is where I seemingly dwell
but not really me.
How you tell a story of me
in the midst of all these storylines
and how you cannot see beyond me
that inner realm
where you and I are One
it finally feels lonely, again
not because no one understands
not because there is no companionship
not because there are no longer words spoken, or flesh to be touched
but arising
because
no one recognises me
no one actually sees me
for who I am
beyond this facade
this form
this name
in this density of force
of what I use to function in the world
and that
really
is not me.
*Dedicated to Irah who inspired this piece,
allowing me, at the same time, to be intimately in touch with my current inner state*