I can never influence another. Not consciously, anyway. For by my conscious influencing, is to convince another my way is best and that itself is a form of attack which will inevitably lead to a defence from the other party which is also reflecting my own defence of my own ideas of what is true to me in addition to wanting the other to ‘see’ it my way. A harsh form of attack would be to impose on others of what I think is true to me, failing to understand that everyone is also like me, holding on to what is true to them. And for those lacking integrity within themselves, they will find themselves succumbing to the ‘impose’ or ‘convince’ posed by the one who seems to be influencing and hence making the illusionary influencer in existence.
As said above, I can never influence; what more to teach or to inspire. But what I can do is to be true to myself in every moment, allowing wisdom to unfold in me with regards to my response to another, and I have to be mindful that it is never about another in this instance. Even if I am to react from the space of defilement, defending and/or attacking – all for me or more rightfully, the ideas I hang on to in the mind hence propelling righteousness, that is what I would be ‘teaching’ to the world subconsciously especially to the one in front of me. And if the other is at least, sufficiently wise, the other person will be able to discern and learn from my movement if it is beneficial or not for him or her. Hence, it is the other teaching him or herself through the observation of my actions or words either being disgusted or inspired by it.
It does sound pretty contradictory to how I can never teach but somehow is already ‘teaching’ at some level. The difference here is that I can never consciously teach someone when my attention is outwards but by my living it, I am already ‘teaching’ another subconsciously when the other is open enough to observe my way of living, or rather reaction or response to myself or the world.
To add on a little more, the only way to ‘teach’ or ‘inspire’ others is to live it and what I mean here is to live what is true to me and always having to be conscious that this is what I have chosen for me and not for others to follow. Whether it is a conscious change of attitude or a result from natural transformation, it is what and how I am or what my life is leaving it nothing to do with others – for it is for my own inner peace and freedom. And people who are open enough to observe me will be inspired if that is the way of life they would like to have – that is to have inner peace and freedom within themselves and again; and that too, would have nothing to do with me. It only becomes inspiring to them if where you are is where they wish to be and hence become inspired. So it is really them inspiring themselves having me as a catalyst – the one who is living it truly for themselves – rather than I am inspiring or teaching them.
A loved one commented that I would in some ways influence the little one on how to become a human being. I explained that what I do is that I share my point of view. There was once, the little one was catching on not-very-appropriate words which we usually term as vulgar from watching YouTube. As a mother, if I were to stop her by just imposing her to ‘STOP IT!’ she might very well stop watching it in front of me and while I am not around continue to do so. In that way, has she learned? And have I successfully taught? Obviously no. What I did was to share with her that those were not very nice words to be used while conversing with people and I posted an example of someone saying it to her. I allowed her to imagine what it was like and she later agreed that it was true as she wouldn’t like it if someone did say it to her because of the tone of voice or mannerism of action. It is also possible that as a child, she could sense the energetic field of those words used out of ignorance. Being an inquisitive child, she asked me what they are meant and to be honest, I found myself caught as how do you explain the word ‘mother f*%ker’ to a 5 year old? Well, believe it or not, I did not say anything like “just trust me, kid… it is a bad, bad word!!” I actually explained to her in the context that it was a word that doesn’t really mean anything but said out of anger from a person to another person to hurt the other person. And for that, the meaning of the word is ‘I am hurting you’. And I asked her if it was a nice way to converse with others. Being a wise child, she said no and she understood that it was not a very nice word to be used although she did mention that the word itself sounded very funny to kids. Ah well, the innocence in a child’s world! Anyway, she still watches these you tubes at least now more aware of what words are appropriate to be used in a conversation or not. And I understand how some parents will oppose to this, but my take is this, I rather than she is honestly and openly sharing with me what she is currently interested in and at the same time also learning through her very own unique ways about the other parts of the world with discernment. As a conscious parent, my only ‘influence’ on her is just to live it and at the same time share with her so that she could see the other perspective of it. At the end of the day, whatever she chooses – it will be delusional for me to say that I’d have any control over it. Because with or without my permission, she’d do it anyway.