Every moment is the best decision I could and can ever make, based on what I know, what I have learned before, and what I have experienced before; it is that thing that they refer to as ‘conditioning’ that leads to what I am in this moment.
A thought occurs, and I find that without questioning it, I am moving along with it, or resisting it. Without questioning it, or having the slightest insight of what the intent behind it is – that is where I am; chances of repeatedly doing what I have done before without pondering if that is entirely fruitful to me. Yet, to ascertain if that would be fruitful or fruitless to me is too would be a conclusion that I would and could make, for now, based on my past decisions, knowing and beliefs.
I have always been intrigued by this choice and no choice thing. One of my teachers reminds me that we always have a choice; and then another of my teacher shares that there is no choice. And then sometimes, I hear the same teacher who reminds me we always have a choice questioning me on how can there be a choice, and my other teacher who shares that there is no choice say, ‘choose again’. It becomes confusing after a while… and also, pretty hilarious when there is realisation.
The same subject was brought up again during a sharing session some time ago. And I find that most of us, if not all are still concluding if there is a choice or no choice when in truth, the pondering of such (the choice or no choice) is to leave the authentic moment Now and go back into some illusionary backward or forward to attempt a conclusion that could never, ever be made. It is very much like the conclusion we make on everything else be it a person or a scenario.
The truth is the choice chosen is always based on the moment, and in the moment that we have made that choice, we realise that in that choice chosen, that wasn’t much of a choice either. Yet, to say we have no choice, is also untrue, as if there are no other options left except what is available to me now.
Choice and no choice come in many levels. Choices become possible when there is open mindedness, when there is learning and of course supporting information. I invited some participants to ponder on the good and bad on reading during a weekend workshop. Whilst there were some of them who were unable to come up with anything that was ‘bad’ about reading, there was this one participant who was open minded enough to explore because she really wanted to know; and when she shared her thoughts with the rest of us, it opened up the minds of others as well. Of course, one might ask, what is the good in asking or inquiring… it is when you have an open mind to recognise the possibility then the choice or decision can then be made with a clear mind and wider potential; and whatever the choice or decision may be; determines the action (in some cases) and thus experience.
The choice and no choice occurring in each individual is somewhat different in my observation. What is true and authentic for one, may not be so for another. And yes, every choice or decision made has its own cause and effect. Yet, if the choice is made based on the cause and effect experienced and concluded in the past, it can very much be based on ignorance too and not inviting oneself to explore new possibilities and potentials.
Still, choice and no choice is simply a noticing occurring in the moment. If it is within our capacity and ability to make a choice to move towards something, do it. If it is not, it is ok too and then it becomes a choice on how and what to perceive of it; that again choosing another outcome of experience internally. Every moment is an occurrence of choice and no choice since they are not really separated. Yet to ponder on this choice and no choice thing is as good as deciding whether I should go to the toilet or not when my bladder is already signalling and then pondering I could stay with it a little longer or simply surrender to it and go for a release. Well, until it is so full and it has to be released – it would still be a decision to be made if I would stay where I am for it to be released there and then itself (much like a baby who doesn’t care much until someone tells him/her it is a shame or that it is not right) or to head to the ‘rightful’ destination of what others call the toilet. It’s funny, come to think of it. And whatever choice that is to be made at that point in time, is ultimately the ‘best’ decision I could and can ever make in the moment! What could ever be wrong with it until I or someone begins to tell me that there is something ‘wrong’ with it?