Can we ever, ever choose the pace of our growth? I remember comparing myself with those around me some time ago, never fully appreciating the space that I’ve arrived at. When I perceive that I am not any better or wiser than another, then I begin to beat myself up, ‘how could I not see it?’ And then it would head towards, ‘gosh, why can’t they see it?’ because I have grown since.
Comparison is always ongoing in each of us. When I take a picture with an object, and someone else takes a picture with the same object; we compare again. When I do some work, and someone else had done it before; the comparison thought is always there – if I look better than that person, or if he or she looks better than me; if I am doing better, or did he or she do it better?
The thing is this – there is no point of comparison. Each of us is as unique and special as we could ever be. Each of our learning curve, our growth pace differs from one to another. Even if we were to find someone or a group of friends who seemingly possess the same qualities, we can be sure that each of our journeys in life is still somewhat different. In fact, our starting points are also different.
So why the need to compare? Any sort of comparison will always require a confirmation. And this confirmation is usually accompanied by a sense of seeking for approval. In each of our minds, we already have a list of requirements to fulfill, so once the list is mentally ticked off, the result of our own seeks would be ‘YES! I am BETTER!! Haha!!’; but when it is not reflected outwards, instead of coming back again, we then tend to seek for opinion/approval from others, collecting evidence if ‘I am better’. In that situation, we give our power to anyone out there, to approve or confirm that we are in fact, good and worthy.
If we were really authentic with ourselves, accepting ourselves as we are, it is likely that we too would accept others as they are; whether they progress or not, whether we grow or not. It doesn’t make any difference. Only separation tends to make us more judgmental of ourselves and others. Thoughts of comparison stem from an idea of unworthiness. You may not believe me, but if you were to authentically look within yourself, investigating each and every comparison thought that arises, then you will soon enough discover that behind those ideas is our own sense of unworthiness. On the very superficial level, we tend to think that we are great. But if we are truly great, then why the need for comparison at all? Why the need to put others on the rat race with us?
While others pulling us into the rat race are beyond our control, we must be aware that it is all only happening in their minds, in their experiences and has absolutely nothing to do with us and vice versa. We are only responsible for ourselves and to constantly remember to come back to ourselves, to be gentle with ourselves. You will be surprise how much gentleness and willingness can aid a person’s growth in all areas.
If I am able to true to myself, I am already home. And being home, I am already the best that I can be at this very moment in time. Loving myself at this stage, desire is born. And this desire, in loving myself, would alleviate me to higher learning anyway, because I am thriving all the time for the love of Truth – not to be better than anybody, or for anything.
To fully appreciate where I already am right now, is more powerful than longing to be where I am not yet; in fact, I cannot be sure if there is really somewhere or anywhere else I ought or need to be – For wherever that I am at this moment in time, is as perfect as it can ever get. This moment is Now; this moment is Reality… this moment is what God is…