Feed on

Only ideas meet ideas and compromise on the somewhat similar qualities that seems to meet or so they think; and bundle with each other thinking or convincing that it’s the same idea to later result in conflict.


I asked a loved one when he was profusely complaining about his student, “Do you know him?”


I asked him this question, as to allow us (that means including me) to reflect on the times where we think that someone outside should have or shouldn’t have done or said something which automatically led to our judgments towards that someone outside.

This reminded me of times when we each could not give our best to others. The truth is, we are always into our own story and always believe that we are right.

I questioned the possibilities of the student’s experience. Was the student going through a personal problem? Was the student putting too much pressure on himself? Was the student doing this scope of assignment out of obligation?


I pondered. And I realised that we will never really know each other, until we honestly express ourselves. We see people walking on the streets everyday, or we bump into someone that we know. Even if we were to decide to hang out together, how well do we actually know each other? I think I know you, you think you know me.. only to realise at the end of the day, conflict has somehow arisen.


If we could strip off our own identified ideas, or stories (stories come from ideas), perhaps we could lose the perspective of being judgmental. If we were to judge another, we are merely judging ourselves. And even if it was obvious that the judged qualities were the same, it couldn’t possibly turn out to be accurate! Hence, our judgments are never valid! In that case, why judge? Oh ya.. it’s not something done on purpose, it’s just a thought that I hang on to and believe that it’s real! hah!


Honest and truthful expressions of our own needs may lead to a possibility of closeness between two people. Sometimes when we have a certain quality, we tend to impose it on another. We’d say, “if I can do it, why can’t he/she?”. Haven’t we heard, each individual is different and unique. Even having said that, everyone’s theshold is different.

If I am willing to be honest with you about my needs, then there is a possibility of you expressing your needs to me. Together we fulfill each other’s needs in unity. Of course, in truth, no one can actually satisfy our own needs except ourselves. But then again, there is also nothing wrong in expressing them. When we allow our needs to be understood, or when we understand another’s needs, it is then possible for understanding and compassion to set in. When we express our needs, we also free our minds in a way. We let go and allow our minds to be open to possibilities.


Anything or anyone out there is just a projection of the mind, but since we cannot understand what is it about us that is causing the projection, speaking to the ‘effect’ may give us some hints. Because the projection comes from us, there would be no way that we couldn’t understand it. Only our ignorance and sense of separation would block me from seeing the truth. What is mine to own, I take responsibility. And the result of understanding, is natural forgiveness.

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