Sparring Error – Approaching a Spiritual Partnership

The mind is the same anywhere, everywhere. No matter how we try to twist it, twig it, it is the same with everyone. But, how each individual addresses the mind creates his or her reality or rather, relationship with the mind.

And it boils down to ideas, perceptions and being able to relate to the mind and its experiences manifested in the outer reality.

When we come into the journey; to each its own; there is a tendency to feel alone or lonely, depending on mental states as both are in fact different. And along the way, when a kindred spirit appears in our space of whom we can spar with (and I do mean this in a good way), it can turn out to be uplifting and supportive for the journey. However, a genuine companionship or partnership can turn out to be detrimental and threatening to both when the unconscious state sets in. Now, this unconscious state is common whilst in the journey since the journey is about being conscious; but it is like the metaphor of hitting a jackpot when one finally finds a loving spiritual friend to share revelations with, the excitement can come with expectations of being understood, accepted or approved of when either is expressing their point of view. With this unconscious state as its base, a loving conversation of positive sharing may very well turn out to be unsightly especially so if both, or either one is holding on strongly to their ideas and views.

And due to the longing for companionship in this journey or for any other journey for that matter, the tendency to lose ourselves once again is always there. It is as if our earlier footing has given way and hence we’d need the other to support the journey. While it is true that support is necessary in the journey, but this very essence of the companion or partnership turns out to be non-beneficial to both except to stir up more shit within both parties when one starts to depend on another for love, approval, acceptance, and etc or worst, starts to intrude into another’s space. It is very much like a typical love relationship, except that the basis of this type of relationship is moving towards growth and freedom.

Now, to stir up the shit is not a bad thing; in fact, it is a gift. But due to the painful nature plus the unconscious state both parties may be in, there can be an unconscious subtle sense of attack and defence, a delicate element of attachment or manipulation going on at the background. And it takes much more effort to bring oneself into the conscious level which requires much patience, diligence and awareness and let me tell you, it is hard, hard work – because a beloved friend is at the other end of the line too! This makes not only us vulnerable, but also puts the companionship or partnership in a somewhat weak and awkward position.

Since this type of kindred spirit is like a rare gem picked up amongst the common treasures, indeed it takes take a lot of integrity, trust, courage, respect and compassion to stay in such companionship or partnership which may or may not elevate our own spiritual growth due to many factors. Thus, choosing the appropriate friend or partner for this, in my opinion, is important.

So during conscious moments, it is possible to accept what the other express in their space with an open mind as we have kept our minds open during the earlier parts of the journey. And I mean to say this not from the space of resignation, compromise or seeking approval but from the space of love and respect and also of an inquisitive nature to allow the mind to expand its horizon rather than being fixated. Of course, ultimately we can only choose to practice what is true to us and due to the earlier respect given, we allow others to have their beliefs as we know that there are indeed many fishes in the sea all headed towards the same destination.

But be forewarned. It is a dangerous zone, for when we can’t get ourselves out of it, we are in deep deep shit… haha! Just kidding. What’s life without a little humour right? So it is essential for both to continuously trust the process and constantly take responsibility of themselves. We are after all just on the path heading Home, aren’t we?

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