A few nights ago, I decided to buy red rice and ponni rice to create variety in my rice & water fasting diet. If water had any other flavor, trust me, I would have bought them too. Yesterday morning, as I gulped a spoonful of the mixed red and ponni rice (cooked, of course), I found them to be somewhat delicious; as opposed to the boring, yucky brown and white rice that I have been having for the past few days or rather, years.
It was interesting to observe that the mind now finds that the red rice + ponni rice mix is more delicious and decides that it might be able to carry on the rice & water fasting until the required period for the fasting ends; but in a few days, if the ‘dish’ remains as red rice + ponni rice, I am pretty sure the mind would start feeling bored again and may complain that the red and ponni rice are too, yucky to the point of nausea.
So the mind is always in for wanting something new, and after having it, never wanting to stay loyal. Where is its loyalty? This reminds back to the mind’s attitude towards other things too – like the switching of shampoos, facial cleansers, body lotions… The brands currently used are perfectly fine, yet the mind is inclined to try out new stuffs pointed out in a magazine or as and when recommended by friends.
No wonder manufacturers have to come up with so many sales promotions and marketing gimmicks to entice customers to stay loyal to their brand!
But if it is true that the mind is constantly wavering, how did we arrive knowingly of this quality called, ‘loyalty’. Peculiar, peculiar…
So it seems that the need to waver is the arising of boredom. And boredom sets in when the mind is in a monotonous mode doing the same thing over and over again, or rather in this case, eating the same thing over and over again. Consider this – red rice, ponni rice, brown rice, calrose rice or white rice generally taste the same yet are somewhat different. If the mind does not perceive differentiation in the types of rice, could it be possible there be no difference in taste at all in the types of rice that were mentioned? And if that is the case, is it then possible that one thing could produce different tastes at different times depending on the mental states? Possible, possible!
So where I am getting at is this. Perhaps the red rice and the ponni rice tasted exactly like the brown rice and the white rice; but because I allowed the mind to perceive the ‘brand new’ red and ponni rice variance to be of something interesting compared to the yucky brown and white rice mixture, the mind was already inclining towards that direction of “hmm, this tastes better!”
Having said that, these are all just the mind’s imagination. The mind is capable of imagining many many things, distorting reality into multiple levels of fantasies that do not exist and yet become so real to anyone buying into it.
Just recently, I was experiencing feelings of being betrayed or being abandoned, all accompanied by unverified stories churning in the mind. What was a relationship based on mutual trust, respect and support turned out to be something that was attacking me and threatening my well-being; and yet as I consciously traced back for evidence, choosing to see clearly – nothing had in fact happened. Everything was just the mind’s imagination, seeking for evidence to either prove it right or prove it wrong. The stories which were seemingly performing a benevolent purpose were actually reinforcing my sense of unworthiness thus the illusionary sense of “I”.
Back to the rice variance, beneath the boring state of the mind lays an idea. An idea that life should be more interesting than this, with spice! I must add. And what if life is not interesting, or exciting; and the idea shares that I might as be as good as dead.
Ideas, ideas… Too grateful for the gift of stepping back, that recognition is possible. By mere recognition, I am already out of it, just observing the mind play its own game with itself, so like what my teacher says, “Let it dance to its end.” Our job is just to observe, and recognize.
This entry reminds me of an article my teacher wrote quite some time ago titled Playing the Same Old Clay. Enjoy!