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this is such an experience
sitting beside you here
in this grand hall of Lick Hung School
waiting for the possibility
of your name to be called.

The hall is in a mess,
with parents, teachers, volunteers
each trying to serve their best interest
managing their other children, the students and the event
liken the atmosphere of a wet market
just perhaps 10 folds more.

The sound from the microphone,
adding to the atmospheric noise
calling out names after names
while we held each other leisurely
arms around each other
planting kisses on each other’s faces
just for the fun of it.

Out of a sudden,
I noticed your hair messy
I opened my bag and took out our wooden comb
you noticed what I was doing
you turned your back against me
as if getting the message of what I am about to do.

I removed the black rubber band from your hair,
your hair fell frivolously
I started combing your hair
and noticed you started reading the book you brought.

Each stroke of your hair, I noticed
as the bizarre noise continues
suddenly, there was a void
like Time stood still for us
as if, in that whole spinning environment
that moment existed
only for you and me.
I wish I could tell you how magical it was
you, me, your hair and the comb…
as if nothing else existed
~Just the Lover and the Beloved~

After your hair was done,
you turned around and asked me
‘Mommi, what if I don’t win anything?’
suddenly revealing your anxiousness.

Noticing your insecurity,
I answered politely
‘So what if you don’t win?’
purposefully instigating thought.

You turned your lips downwards,
and then shrugged your little shoulders
while munching the peanut butter jelly sandwich
I packed for you earlier this morning.

So, you didn’t win an individual title.

And I said to you, ‘it’s ok.’
you looked up at me
surprised at my response
waiting for more to be uttered.

And I say to you, my dearest
‘What matters most is the experience.’
‘This is your first time,’ I explained
‘so you don’t really know what to expect.
‘The next time if you are ever nominated again, you will be better prepared.’

You nodded your head in silence.
Probably relieved
I did not a pull a ‘I told you so’ stunt.

Yet, Mommi being the cheeky Mom,
I just had to add to it
‘now you know why mommi always asks you to do extra math work?’

You looked at me with a smirk,
and rolled your eyes cheekily
reflecting my own cheekiness
with acceptance of not winning.

Still, I am proud of you,
and words and actions cannot be enough
to describe how wonderful you truly are anyway,
whether you win or not win at all.

Because my darling baby girl,
when you no longer need a reason to win
when you no longer bother if you win
when you realize you win even when you lose
that’s when you have finally truly won.

And I show you this piece of expression
after proofreading the above paragraphs.

I see with my own eyes
how your eyes open up
how those lips curved to a smile
thinking you must feel heartwarmed
having such a romantic Mommi.

I asked you if you understood it
Alas, how you answered me!
Without a second thought
and with a sassy grin
you shook your head and said,
‘No, mommi I don’t.’

In shock, I looked disbelieved
in response, you giggled like a champ
and then I squint my wide round eyes
and we both hugged as winners do.

*written on 23/11/2014 @ 11:45am*

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