“Have compassion for all beings, rich and poor alike; each has their suffering.
Some suffer too much, others too little.”
– Buddha –
It is interesting to observe life lessons which are easily transcended by one, may not be the same for another. I remember this tale of an acquaintance who progressed in the spiritual journey quickly, but could not understand why it was hard for others. And I’d have to say that I had this same pattern quite some time ago.
A beloved reminded me once that sometimes when we are able to do something, there tends to be a sort of expectation accompanying that other people are able to do the same thing. It is like much like babies learning to walk; some learn to walk a little faster and some a little slower, each depending on his or her experiences of falling and trying internalised, coupled with support and encouragement received by the external environment, which are also internalised and also the attitude of the baby.
It is not really of much support to others when we keep pushing others to transcend their fears when what is required is their own willingness and pace. Even with willingness, it takes a huge amount of inner work to arrive at the transcendence of life lessons with conditionings allowing Wisdom to finally enlighten the mind; and we can never tell how much time others need. Some may take 1 week, 1 month or even lifetimes. If not, we wouldn’t be blessed with past life therapists who helps us access our past life stories or experiences in order to understand or realise what was not seen before. That too, after a session of such therapies still requires readiness to actually transcend the whole pattern of what is ancient in the mind.
The other day, a loved one sent a text to me and asked me if we could guide and support someone. My answer to her was that there is no such thing. How could it be possible? We are simply doing what we feel like doing at the moment, as in talking, and people think that we are guiding or supporting someone. It takes the other parties’ motivation rather than something that I can do. But I can live authentically and be an inspiration to others when I walk the talk, instead of just talking the talk and that is the only act that I can be moved to do within myself, for myself and not for others. It becomes my way of living, rather than to live as an example for others to follow. Although this statement sounds a little general, but let’s put it this way… when I am taking full responsibility of what arises in my space and doing my inner work, other people will notice. Since inner work is not something that can be shown, but by the mere result of how our way of life is already serves as an inspiration to others if that is what they want too, and what they want is beyond my control. It is somewhat impossible to assess how soon or far along that another will take to transcend the same ancient pattern for we are too unfamiliar with their course of experiences and stories.
Understanding this is peace and thus compassion arises naturally. Whenever the mind goes off wandering about other people’s businesses, it is astute to diligently to go back to the basics that is to mind my own business. My business will include addressing any judgment or perception that arises in any situation concerning others and myself as any act that I would attempt outwards is always being run by some specific ideas in the mind. If I am still working on myself, what space can I have to work on others?
Yet, that does not mean that I cannot be available for others. Being available for others means being open to listen and to speak when asked to, at the same time also acknowledging that what is being shared does not come with expectations of others picking up what is being communicated. It is after all, their own journey (and my own, too) and each phrase is as important for each individual.
“No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.”
– Buddha –
Tags: acceptance, awareness, Buddha, communication, compassion, conditionings, Ideas, inquiry, integrity, mindfulness, relationships, stories, takingresponsibility, willingness, wisdom